All our lives, we have seen a pattern of parents caring for children. We grow up seeing our parents handle everything and nothing is expected much from us as children. However, at a certain age, understanding ageing parents might seem impossible at times. Their conversational styles, their habits, their natures might alter drastically from what we remembered them in our childhood. Many well “suggestions” from our children might be at conflict with our aspirations to maintain our autonomy as parents become old. We would like to be cared for, yet we would not want to be looked for. As a result, when a well-intentioned child walks onto our property, there is a tug of war.
Oftentimes, our willingness to care for them can trigger responses for them that might push us back. At those points we need to understand, that this is when, they need the most help.
It is not just the biological cycle that slows down for our parents but it is also the cyclical nature of life. However, fear not, we got your back with a couple of tips to help to guide you if you wish to take care of ageing parents and do not seem to understand where to start from.
Do Not Take Away Their Autonomy
Just as we love and adore our personal space and time, our parents love it too. Instead of constantly monitoring them and criticizing them, giving them their own space might help tremendously.
Consider Them A Friend!
Since they would not be on a strict schedule as you, they might be in dire need of some company to have some light hearted conversations and have a laugh. Be a friend to them and try to schedule weekends with them to stay in touch with the way they feel, ask them about their preferences, get to know them more. You never know what you might discover!
Try To Stay Composed
When they seem to be on the edge and are failing to communicate with you, don’t lose hope! Be there for them as a guide and try to not. Meditation is essential and it helps everyone. Here at Aging parent support, we provide free meditation sessions to help you stay composed. Sign up now to get a free trial!
Offer To Handle Finances
The keyword is “offer”. They might not need help from you and might get offended if you decide to offer however, it is your responsibility to offer and help them in every way. If they don’t ask, do it on your own. Whether it be their monthly medications or their routinely checkups or if they are eyeing something. This small gesture can go a long way!
Ageing parents might need a bit of your time, but you must always be willing to show up for them the way they expect you to. It might be exhausting but you must understand they see and appreciate your efforts!
Elderly parents may be in need and chances are we might never find out. This is mostly because due to their age, their communication patterns alter drastically and they might not articulate their needs. This does not mean they don’t expect anything but their expectations lie in us understanding where and how we could be useful to them without them addressing us directly.